Maybe next month

So I have been dreading this week. I knew that I had to make it all the way to Friday without starting my period so I could take a pregnancy test.
Pregnancy test are a hard thing for me. After 9 1/2 years of negative ones, the thought of having to take another is a daunting task.
So last night I started to spot and all the emotions of 9 1/2 years of trying came back. I know the Lord has a plan for me, I just wish I knew what it was so I could plan accourdingly.
So now we go back to the dr and try again. This journey is lonf and hard but I know that its worth it.